The Hurt Feelings Report is a satirical military-style form that has circulated online and within military culture for years. It is designed to parody official administrative paperwork by using exaggerated language around complaints, sensitivity, and counseling.
The form mimics the structure of official-looking Department of Defense paperwork, with sections for administrative data, incident reporting, injury details, reasons for filing, narrative explanation, and authentication. It should be understood as a humor/morale document, not a current official Army or Department of Defense form.
The PDF below is titled Hurt Feelings Report and references FM 22-102, with the proponent agency listed as TRADOC. The form includes mock sections such as “Injury,” “Reason for Filing This Report,” and a narrative area for describing how feelings were hurt.
Data Required by the Privacy Act of 1974
Authority: 5 USC 301, Departmental Regulations; 10 USC 3013, Secretary of the Air Force and E.O. 9397 (SSN).
Principal Purpose: To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings, and to provide leaders with a list of soldiers who require additional counseling, NCO leadership, and extra duty.
Routine Uses: For subordinate leader development IAW FM 22-102. Leaders & whiners should use this form as necessary.
Part I – Administrative Data
- Whiner’s name
- Rank/grade
- Social Security Number
- Date of report
- Organization
- Name & title of the person filling out this form
Part II – Incident Report
- Date feelings were hurt
- Time of hurtfulness
- Location of hurtful incident
- NCO or officer sympathetic to whiner
- Name of real man/woman who hurt your sensitive feelings
- Rank/grade
- Organization
Injury
- Which ear were the words of hurtfulness spoken into?
- Is there permanent feeling damage?
- Did you require a “tissue” for tears?
- Has this resulted in a traumatic brain injury?
Reason for Filing This Report
- I am thin skinned
- I am a wimp
- I have a hormone issue
- I am a crybaby
- I want my mommy
- The Air Force needs to fix my problem
- My feelings are easily hurt
- I didn’t sign up for this
- I was told that I am not a hero
- The weather is too cold/hot
- Two beers is not enough
- I don’t get paid enough
- I was not offered a SARC brief
- I’ve never gotten me an award
- All of the above and more
Narrative
Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt.
Part III – Authentication
- Printed name of real man/woman
- Signature